Heath Ledger was good. Of course he was. He was a 29 year old wild man! An uninhibited, great actor. Makes sense he’d play that part for all it was worth! I wish he would’ve done more with the sound of his voice, though. He kept it up behind his nose, at the same high pitch throughout the movie. I wish he would’ve slowly let it drop down about an octave and then back up again every now and then.

Maggie Gyllenhaal was miscast. She’s more believable as creative quirky than sexy glamorous. She couldn’t even fill out her dress, let alone that role.

Meeeoowww.

Maybe I could play Catwoman?

I did not believe that The Batman and Harvey Dent would both be in love with her. Who should have been cast then? Maybe Charlize Theron? It would’ve worked with Harvey Dent, but that girl would eat The Batman alive.

She’s too much woman for Christian Bale! Who was good. But, I’m biased. I’ve liked everything about Christian Bale since American Psycho. Everything except his voice as The Batman.

I would’ve known it was him in two seconds!

And now that I think about it, I didn’t really care much for Rescue Dawn. But, that mess wasn’t Christian’s fault.

Aaron Eckhart was great. Great! And no one’s talking about him. Except me. And Laurie Mann over at Susie Bright’s. And she’s also right about his fantastic makeup/CGI at the end of the film.

How did his one eyeball move around so convincingly?! Aaron Eckhart’s fake left eyeball was more believable than Maggie Gyllenhaal’s whole real body!

Why must Morgan Freeman always be so wise?

Why was Gary Oldman cast as Tom Skerritt?

Why did the woman in front of us bring two five year old boys to see such a film??!! Totally inappropriate. She should be ashamed. Bad, bad mother!

Meeeoowww.

And finally, the movie was too long.

Other than that, I liked it. Especially Aaron Eckhart.

Count me in as one who totally believes in Harvey Dent.

Ken Levine writes, I MISS TV THEME SONGS. I miss my favorites, too, but that got me thinking. Don’t any of the new shows have theme songs? I have to admit, I don’t watch that much TV, so I had to look it up.

According to Zap2It, here were the top 20 rated network shows for the week of 6/11/07 - 6/17/07. There are many shows on this list that do have theme songs, but they don’t count. America’s Got Talent? 24 full seconds of not counting at all. I couldn’t find a youtube video for Deal or No Deal’s theme song. But, would it really matter if I could? Everyone knows this game show’s theme song. Does it really warm the cockles of your heart?

Answer that in the form of a question!

Law & Order: SVU comes came in at #9. SVU’s theme song is slightly different than the original Law & Order theme song. Although I like the original better, it doesn’t give me the warm and fuzzies. Maybe in 25 years it will, like this one does now.

Weren’t Furillo and Davenport cute together? A simple yes will do.

CSI Miami’s theme song’s a great song. But, I’ve never watched that show, so I just think of that song as being the very best conservative rock song of all time. My son may connect it someday to CSI. And then I’ll have to beat him senseless.

Lots of newish shows have their own theme songs. Whether they were written specifically for the show or not. One of my favorite newish show theme songs is Woke Up This Morning by A3, used in The Soprano’s. That song’s actually about a wife who fatally shot her husband after years of abuse. But, I’ll bet you’ll never hear it again without thinking of Tony driving through New Jersey.

Can’t think of another newish theme song, though that has an emotional pull like that one. I’ll Be There For You from Friends? Too bee-boppy and bouncy to really connect with it. But, so was this one and it makes me smile. But then, I was just a teeny-bopper when that show was popular. So, I’ve got fun memories of it.

That’s what makes remembering TV show theme songs so great. And sad. All the memories you have because you were a certain age when the show was on.

While I could include the theme song to The Sopranos on my list, I’m not going to. Doing research for this post today, I ran across some old ones I had forgotten about that I just loved. Are these my favorites? I don’t know. But, I loved them. Here’s my list in no particular order.

Bewitched
The Courtship of Eddie’s Father
The Bob Newhart Show
Good Times
All In the Family
MASH
Cheers
The Mary Tyler Moore Show (I like the newer one better, but I couldn’t find the video.)
The Addams Family

And

Always loved it.

How ’bout you? Which TV theme songs would you put on your list in no particular order?

Just wanted to warn you all about a few things. I’m not going to get into all the high-brow, deep thought type stuff behind all the movies tonight. I’m not going to get all hoity toity and start examining anything from atop some perch, like some film snob. I’m not going to analyze characters and how they were developed and how the director brought out their best performance and all that jazz. I probably also won’t spell most of the nominees’ names right. When I wrote my post today over at blue girl, I didn’t even know who half the people were! I linked to photos of them, so I would know who they were and those who are out there who may be anything like me, might know who they were when they grace up with their presence tonight up on The Stage.

Boy, that was a jumbled sentence.

Get used to those, too.

The show’s gonna start any minute! Yay! Can’t wait.

Cut! For just a few minutes.

Cute penguin intro. Loved the Bush impersonation. Ok. This may be going on a tad too long, but I’ll give it a chance. A car from Cars. Cute. But, I never saw that. Get used to me saying that alot tonight too.

Ok, that was cute, but not glamorous. I want glamour! Where’s the glamour? There’s the red carpet! Nicole’s got a giant red bow on her shoulder. Not sure about that.

Ok. There’s my boy, Leo. Love him now, after I saw The Departed. He’s not in a tuxedo. Black suit, black tie.

Lisa Ling’s on. Ok. Nicole looks good except for that bow. She’s gorgeous though. The Skimmer thinks she’s too pale. Pasty. I think she’s gorgeous. Who’s with her? I missed it. Who is that? She looks pretty too.

You’re going to hear a lot of shallow comments from me tonight, too. Another warning.

That was a totally cheesey thing they did for Jennifer Hudson. I’m was not into that. She looks pretty. And I’m glad she’s come as far as she has. American Idol or no American Idol.

Steve Carell’s on. He’s great. In a tuxedo. That’s good. Do you think he’s jealous of Steve Colbert? I wonder about that. Even though he’s had his own success. I *loved* the 40 Year Old Version. Loved it!

Oooh! The Nominee Wall! What’s that? Emily Hunt’s blue dress is divine. Divine! I like the b/w one too. See, I should know that girl in the b/w dress. And the red one’s great too. So far “strapless” is the look of the night. Lots of strapless. I know you’re probably not complaining, right?

Thank you so much for your brilliant work! Now go away! We have other cheesey things planned!

Cut! Commercial break.

We’re back. Question? I thought this show started at 8? It’s 8:18. When does it start? Really start?

Who is that being inter…oh. It’s Penelope Cruz. Gorgeous. Gorgeous! Please note the strapless style. I’m calling it now. Strapless is the style of the night.

Will Smith and his wife, Jade? Jada? Her dress is awesome, too. This guy interviewing is getting on my nerves! Listen to how he’s talking! Enough!

Cameron Diaz. Gorgeous. White Strapless. I know I’m being shallow, but what am I supposed to focus on now? All the deep thoughts they’re spewing? Don’t think so.

Eddie Murphy and his date, Tracey Edmonds. Love her dress. Eddie looks good. Missed the Barbara Walters interview. Eddie Murphy looks so uncomfortable! I hate when I feel uncomfortable because they feel uncomfortable!

Notes ON A SCAN. DAL! This guy is too much! There’s Cate Blanchet. Love her. She’s so great. Pretty brown, sparkly dress. So far the women are dressed beautifully. Should I say something about the men?

They all look good. All black and white, and tie-ish. That’s all I got.
And we’ve got so much more to come!

Cut! To commercial.

There’s Marky Mark. Mahtee’s de best. Yeah, de best. I don’t think he should’ve been nominated. Just saying. I think he pushed his role in The Departed too much. I read somewhere that his part was written poorly. Maybe that was it. Whatever. Still don’t think the performance was worth a nod.

Sombody had to TELL Kate Winslet that she’s been up for 5 oscars so far? Really? I don’t buy that. Do you? What a crock. She looks good. Pretty dress. I like the sweeping scarf hanging down her back. Lisa Ling doesn’t know how to wrap that up.

There’s Helen Mirren. She’ll win Best Actress. Wanna bet? Anyone? I’ll bet ya! She’s the classiest lady. Look at her! Wonderful.

You know, these actors have got to hate this part of this business. They would have to. Being asked these dumb questions by these totally scripted people. Ick.

Thank God that’s over. I wish I would’ve known. I wouldn’t have started so early! I’m traumatized!

*****

Ok! Here we go! The real shoe begins.
This little clippy thing is good. But, it’s hard for me to watch and listen and think about what to write and type and JUDGE THEM ALL.

I liked the girl who just screamed. I would love to be so happy to scream like that!

I don’t know who all these people are, and it’s inside baseball, but it’s cute. It’s fun. A little long, maybe though?

Okay, let’s get this baby going.

I love Ellen.

Ellen says that her hosting is a dream come true. Bet it is.

My dream has always been to Live Blog The Oscars. God. I’ve come a long way, baby.

No one can fill a seat like an American. Yep. Good one.

Aw. The little girl from LMS, she’s so great. So great. I hope she wins.

Ok. I’m still glad for Jennifer Hudson, but I’m a little over the whole backstory already.

Liberal crowd? In Hollywood? Applauding for Al Gore? Pshaw! O’Reilly will love that! All the right wing heads across the land are exploding at this moment. Wish we could get that on film.

Ellen’s going political.

I wish I was nominated for something so they’d celebrate me. Oh well. There’s always next year.

On a scale of 1 - 10, I give Ellen’s intro a 6. (TW says lower…now that I think about it, I agree. Maybe a 4.)
Oh my God! Nichole Kidman is gorgeous! Oh man! (Get used to this. This is the kind of stuff I’d be yelling at the TV, with The Skimmer yelling back — Yeah!)

LOL! The Skimmer just stuck his head in the door: “Oh man. She’s really something!”

Do I know him or what?

Pan’s Labyrinth won for Best Art Direction. An underrated category and skill, I think.

Maggie Jill*In*Hall. I have no idea how to spell her name. She looks pretty, too. Ok. I’ve got to focus on other things. Let’s focus on her brother, Jake. He’s pretty.

I’m Blue Girl In A Red State. And THIS is the Live Blogging of The Oscars.

Cut! Commercial break.

Look at Will Farrell! LOL! Nice Hair! Oh my God! Jack Black, the man without any shame. At all. No shame!

They’re hysterical. Marky Mark loves his badass rep. He’s getting on my nerves. Ok, I need to lighten up! I won’t cut Marky Mark down again. I know there are people who love him. Whatever.

That was fun! Loved it.

Nominees for achievement in make up will be celebrated right now.

And the Oscar goes to: David jdkfjdkjfdkfjdk and fjdkfjdkjfdkfjdkfd for Pan’s Labyrinth. It’s a Pan’s Labrinth sweep so far. I heard it’s really dark. I bet I’d like it.

She just said how heavy the award is. Did I ever tell you guys that I worked for the company that actually made the Oscar awards? The actual awards? That was fun. It’s been about ten years ago.

I’m sorry Judi Dench is having knee surgery.

On her eyes.

That’s too bad.

Look at these cute kiddies! So cute! Aw!

Let’s celebrate the Nominees for the Best Animated Short!

And The Oscar Goes To: The Danish Poet!

Let’s celebrate the Nominees for Best Live Action Short!

And The Oscar Goes To: West Bank Story!

Well, Claire Helene’s not asking what the short films are. She knows! She went and saw them all the other night. Make sure you read her post about it.
You’re reading The Live Blogging of the Oscars! Right Here On Newcritics!

Cut! To commercial.

Oooh. This choir thing is cool so far. Fun. Great! The way they cut that plane into it. I should probably know what that’s from, right?

That was great.

Well, there are two cool guys. Steve Carrell and Greg Kinnear.

Let’s celebrate the Nominees for Best Sound Editing:

“Apocalypto” (Buena Vista)
Sean McCormack and Kami Asgar

“Blood Diamond” (Warner Bros.)
Lon Bender

“Flags of Our Fathers” (DreamWorks and Warner Bros., Distributed by Paramount)
Alan Robert Murray and Bub Asman

“Letters from Iwo Jima” (Warner Bros.)
Alan Robert Murray and Bub Asman

“Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest” (Buena Vista)
Christopher Boyes and George Watters II
And The Oscar Goes To: “Letters from Iwo Jima” (Warner Bros.) Alan Robert Murray and Bub Asman

Let’s Celebrate The Nominees for Sound Mixing:

“Apocalypto” (Buena Vista)
Kevin O’Connell, Greg P. Russell and Fernando Cámara

“Blood Diamond” (Warner Bros.)
Andy Nelson, Anna Behlmer and Ivan Sharrock

“Dreamgirls” (DreamWorks and Paramount)
Michael Minkler, Bob Beemer and Willie Burton

“Flags of Our Fathers” (DreamWorks and Warner Bros., Distributed by Paramount)
John Reitz, Dave Campbell, Gregg Rudloff and Walt Martin

“Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest” (Buena Vista)
Paul Massey, Christopher Boyes and Lee Orloff
And The Oscar Goes To: “Dreamgirls” (DreamWorks and Paramount) Michael Minkler, Bob Beemer and Willie Burton

Rachel Weisz is absolutely, to die for, knock down, drag out, beautiful! Love that dress.

Nominees for Best Supporting Actor:

Alan Arkin in “Little Miss Sunshine” (Fox Searchlight)

Jackie Earle Haley in “Little Children” (New Line)

Djimon Hounsou in “Blood Diamond” (Warner Bros.)

Eddie Murphy in “Dreamgirls” (DreamWorks and Paramount)

Mark Wahlberg in “The Departed” (Warner Bros.)
And the Oscar Goes To: Alan Arkin, Little Miss Sunshine! (I totally called that one.)

Aw. Alan Arkin started to choke up. That was sweet.

Ellen! Stop lying to Marky Mark. Ellen’s talking to Scorsese. I love her way. She’s so funny.

Ok. This show’s dragging a little bit. How can you get snarky with beautiful people who are totally behaving themselves? We need an Indian to come out or something.

I like this clip for The Departed. Well, I really liked The Departed. And I think I might have been wrong in my post over at blue girl today. That song was Gimme Shelter. My apologies to Sean.

Sweet Baby James Taylor. Always sounds good to me. Wonder what Jeddie’s going right now? Hiding up in the attic?

I’ve always like Melissa Ethridge, too. Great song. Why aren’t they flashing to Gore? What’s Gore doing at this very moment? Is he kind of acting like he’s dancing in his seat? I want to see it? Why aren’t they showing him?

Oh, that’s why. He was back stage.

There was Jerry Seinfeld!

The Oscar’s have officially gone green. What does that mean?

It means that, um, I missed it. Go to Oscar.com and it’ll tell you what it means and how you can do your part.

Gore did a pretty good job at that! And wouldn’t have been great if he actually DID announce that he was going to run again? I know all you lefty liberal heathens would’ve loved that.

Best animated feature film of the year:

“Cars” (Buena Vista) John Lasseter

“Happy Feet” (Warner Bros.) George Miller

“Monster House” (Sony Pictures Releasing) Gil Kenan

And The Oscar Goes To: Happy Feet!

I like this writing clip.

I haven’t written one page, I’ve written one page 46 times.

You ain’t no writa, fink.

I”ve got an idea! First good one I’ve had in four months!

Put your money on love!

I love that!

The end.

Done!

Tom Hanks is a little mouthy lately — anyone notice? I mean, still in his nice guy way, but still!

Best Adapted screenplay:

“Borat Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan” (20th Century Fox)
Screenplay by Sacha Baron Cohen & Anthony Hines & Peter Baynham & Dan Mazer
Story by Sacha Baron Cohen & Peter Baynham & Anthony Hines & Todd Phillips

“Children of Men” (Universal)
Screenplay by Alfonso Cuarón & Timothy J. Sexton and David Arata and Mark Fergus & Hawk Ostby

“The Departed” (Warner Bros.)
Screenplay by William Monahan

“Little Children” (New Line)
Screenplay by Todd Field & Tom Perrotta

“Notes on a Scandal” (Fox Searchlight)
Screenplay by Patrick Marber

And the Oscar goes to: “The Departed” (Warner Bros.) Screenplay by William Monahan

This guy’s on valium! Well, here’s a fun part! What will he do, what will he say? Do something! Something! How many pills would that guy have to take to have some kind of effect?

There’s Jack. First shot of the night. Unless I missed a previous shot.

Oooh. Here’s the music. You’re outta here, Valium Guy.

Man, I was hoping Valium Guy would’ve done something. Stumbled. Tripped. Stuttered. Stammered. Drooled.

Something!

We need some controversy, people!

And I just skimmed the comments. Please read high up in the posts. I DID NOT like the bow on Nichole’s dress. C’mon. Who do you think you’re dealing with?

Can I just start making stuff up? We need some action here, people. This thing is a goody too shoes snooze fest so far.

(Jim, at least the screenwriter had something to work with…valium!)

Achievement in costume design:

“Curse of the Golden Flower” (Sony Pictures Classics) Yee Chung Man

“The Devil Wears Prada” (20th Century Fox) Patricia Field

“Dreamgirls” (DreamWorks and Paramount) Sharen Davis

“Marie Antoinette” (Sony Pictures Releasing) Milena Canonero

“The Queen” (Miramax, Pathé and Granada) Consolata Boyle

And the Oscar Goes to: “Marie Antoinette” (Sony Pictures Releasing) Milena Canonero

That’s not surprising. Whenever someone’s got to make those huge poofy dresses and wigs and stuff, they win.

Milena Canonero is scared! Aw. She has the best tux on of the entire night. Great tie. I liked the way she called the Oscar “The Doll.” That was a sweet speech.

Psycho Couch Jumper’s on stage. Sherry Lansing’s up for something. I missed it. Oooh. Fatal Attraction. I watched the end of that yesterday. What a nutty movie that was! Glenn Close in the bathtub? You knew she was gonna come out of that water with the knife! Duh, Michael Douglas.

Oh my God! Don’t kiss and hug him like that, Sherry Lansing! He’ll want to marry you next!

Gwyneth Paltrow is on stage. Should I even say she looks pretty? I’m being so redundant. Oh well. She does, though.

Achievement in cinematography:

“The Black Dahlia” (Universal) Vilmos Zsigmond

“Children of Men” (Universal) Emmanuel Lubezki

“The Illusionist” (Yari Film Group) Dick Pope

“Pan’s Labyrinth” (Picturehouse) Guillermo Navarro

“The Prestige” (Buena Vista) Wally Pfister

And the Oscar Goes To: “Pan’s Labyrinth” (Picturehouse) Guillermo Navarro

You’re outta there, Mr. Navarro. Take your wings and fly — fly, far, far away…

BREAKING NEWS!***BREAKING NEWS!***BREAKING NEWS!

This show’s kind of dull.

Jus sayin’.

I do wonder though. Would it be this dull if I was sitting downstairs on the couch? I need something! Anything!

Oh! Best Achievement in Visual Effects!

Now we’re talking…
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz……

Just kidding visual effects people! We’re celebrating you!

Yes! We are!

Oh my! I’m behind. I’ll add that winner at a later time. After I wake up.

Was just reading through the comments…and Steverino said….

Woo hoo - they’re applauding the concept of “subtitles”!!!

Woo Hoo!! is right, baby!

…I wish a streaker would run across the stage.

Geez, Cate Blanchett is a skinny bone! Tiny, tiny. And TV adds 10 pounds! She must be twig-like in person. Skeletal!

…I’m going on a diet.

Best Best foreign language film of the year:

“After the Wedding” A Zentropa Entertainments 16 Production
Denmark

“Days of Glory (Indigènes)” A Tessalit Production
Algeria

“The Lives of Others” A Wiedemann & Berg Production
Germany

“Pan’s Labyrinth” A Tequila Gang/Esperanto Filmoj/Estudios Picasso Production
Mexico

“Water” A Hamilton-Mehta Production
Canada
And the Oscar Goes to: “The Lives of Others” A Wiedemann & Berg Production Germany

Did he thank Arnold?

Here’s George Clooney. Will he do anything besides look good? The drinking joke wasn’t that funny. Guess not.
Onto the Celebration!

Performance by an actress in a supporting role:

Adriana Barraza in “Babel” (Paramount and Paramount Vantage)

Cate Blanchett in “Notes on a Scandal” (Fox Searchlight)

Abigail Breslin in “Little Miss Sunshine” (Fox Searchlight)

Jennifer Hudson in “Dreamgirls” (DreamWorks and Paramount)

Rinko Kikuchi in “Babel” (Paramount and Paramount Vantage)

And the Oscar Goes to: Jennifer Hudson

Wow.

Wow.

Wow.

Wow.

These two are serious, introducing the documentary. They are interesting and not to be fooled with. You can tell. I wouldn’t fool with them.

And the Oscar goes to: The Blood …

I’ll fill that in later…Seinfeld’s on.

Ok. He was funny. Was he? Was he? Am I desperate? He talked about “The Deal” with movie theaters and us. Hey! I just talked about “The Deal” between people who are driving together somewhere, only in different cars! Geez, he and I would get along so good.

An Inconvenient Truth wins for Best Documentary!

Red America laughs.
Ah-ha-ha-ha!

That guy’s psyched though, isn’t he?

Thank you Al.

Clint looks good. Doesn’t he? You hearin’ me, people? I feel all alone up here!

I don’t hate Celine like a lot of people do, but she shouldn’t purse those lips like that! TW, that was a world premier performance of that song? Was that it? Wasn’t that earth shattering. Just my opinion.

Yeesh. I was just in the middle of saying something really original and important and my computer crashed. What was it? Hmmm. What? Oh…

Hugh Jackman and Penelope Cruz are gorgeous.

See what you missed cuz my computer crashed? What you had to wait for?
Missed that last award, too. Best original score? I’ll have to look it up later.

Jack totally shaved his head. Wonder why.

Best Original Screenplay:

“Little Miss Sunshine” (Fox Searchlight)
Written by Michael Arndt

I watched the Spirit Awards last night and he basically made that same speech. Not that I’m judging. I’m jus sayin’

Ok! Here’s a fun game! To follow are the Top 10 movie quotes of all time! Wow! Did you think I’d drop this surprise on you? How fun am I? Name all the movies that the quotes come from and you’ll win a special surprise! A winner every time! Try your luck! Just leave your answers in the comment thread! C’mon! I mean, how fun is this?

1. Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.

2. I’m going to make him an offer he can’t refuse.

3. You don’t understand! I coulda had class. I coulda been a contender. I could’ve been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am.

4. Toto, I’ve got a feeling we’re not in Kansas anymore.

5. Here’s looking at you, kid.

6. Go ahead, make my day.

7. All right, Mr. DeMille, I’m ready for my close-up.

8. May the Force be with you.

9. Fasten your seatbelts. It’s going to be a bumpy night.

10. You talking to me?

Don’t strain your brain too much! I know they’re really hard. But, try your best. Remember, you’ll get a prize….just drop your answers in the comment thread.

Where’s Viscount? He would totally know #5.

Update on The Academy Awards!

Jennifer Hudson and Beyonce are singing. They both look gorgeous and the music is mediocre.

Back to the game above.

HINT: They guy who said #6 was interpreting Spanish earlier on stage. Just trying to help!

Geez. Love to give you a hint on #8, but I’ve never heard such a crazy thing in my life. What is this Force that they speak of? It’s beyond me.

Ok. Back to the The Big Shoe.

With Barbarino and Queen Latifa…

Celebrating Nominees for Best Original Song: Melissa Ethridge for the song from An Inconvenient Truth. Is that the name of the song? I’ll have to look it up.

Ok! At least we’re playing a game now! TW’s got 8 out of 10 above, I think? Please don’t ask me to do math at 11:40pm on a Sunday night.
Hey! Who wants to see Halle Berry in her Catwoman costume?

And who wants to see a sexy photo of Viggo Mortensen?

My computer’s so slow tonight. Like this show. I missed the Best Editing Award because I was, well, whatever. I was trying to find a sexy photo of Viggo Mortensen. But, editing is extremely important! I never appreciated editors until I started doing TV commercials. And they’re normally cool people, too.
Jody Foster’s on. She looks good and I’ve always thought she was so smart. You don’t hear any crud about her in the tabloids. She’s a pretty stand up girl.
Man oh man. It’s almost midnight and we’ve got a few biggies to go, don’t we?

I feel bad that Martin Scorsese is going to win his Best Director Award at one of the most boring awards shows I have ever seen! My God! What is the deal?

What? Am I going to be snarky about Philip Seymour Hoffman? Like what? Dude, you were so lame in Twister?
Best Leading Actress! Finally!

And the Oscar goes to: I’m calling it first.

Helen Mirren in The Queen. Posting now before they announce!

I’m so right.

All the time.

And the Oscar goes to: Helen Mirren for her performance in The Queen

OH.

MY.

GOD.

That announcer guy just said…

…And now it’s going to get interesting.

Is he on glue?

So, they planned interesting to arrive at 12:05am?

That is interesting.

Ah, Reese Witherspoon looks pretty. What a shocker though, huh? For me to say one of the beautiful girls looks pretty?

Ok. Here we go with Best Actor In A Leading Role

I’m totally pulling for Leo for his performance in The Departed. (I got an email from a friend that Leo was NOT up for his role in The Departed. Whatever! That does not mean I wasn’t pulling for him to win for that role.)

LOL!
Or Peter O’Toole. (Betcha P O’T wins)
And the Oscar goes to: Woah!

Big surprise of the night! At least to me. And the Oscar went to: Forest Whitaker in “The Last King of Scotland”

Nicest speech of the night. Besides Helen Mirren. And b tween, The Skimmer totally agrees with you.

Ok, here’s comes Best Director…

And the Oscar goes to: Martin Scorsese for The Departed.

You know how that voice over comes one and says some little tidbit about the winner once their name has been announced. Am I being crabby when I say that that has gotten on my nerves all night?

The audience is totally into Scorsese winning. I bet The Siren’s happy!

I liked that little moment, that little hug, between Martin Scosese and Jack. Cool old codgers.

Jack and Diane … reminds me of a song.

Best Picture:

“Babel” (Paramount and Paramount Vantage)
An Anonymous Content/Zeta Film/Central Films Production
Alejandro González Iñárritu, Jon Kilik and Steve Golin, Producers

“The Departed” (Warner Bros.)
A Warner Bros. Pictures Production
Graham King, Producer

“Letters from Iwo Jima” (Warner Bros.)
A DreamWorks Pictures/Warner Bros. Pictures Production
Clint Eastwood, Steven Spielberg and Robert Lorenz, Producers

“Little Miss Sunshine” (Fox Searchlight)
A Big Beach/Bona Fide Production
David T. Friendly, Peter Saraf and Marc Turtletaub, Producers

“The Queen” (Miramax, Pathé and Granada)
A Granada Production
Andy Harries, Christine Langan and Tracey Seaward, Producers
And the Oscar goes to: The Departed. (Called it.)
Stupid announcer person just said: Mr. Scorsese has said that it’s the first movie he’s ever done with a plot!

Gack!

Well, blog starlights and starbrights. It’s passed blue girl’s bedtime. I thought The Grammy’s were long. And they were. But, they gave me something to work with! I didn’t have to link to Halle Berry in her Catwoman costume during that live blogging session.

Here are just a few random thoughts on The Big Shoe.

Too long. Too boring.
Ellen wasn’t as good as she could’ve been. Nowhere near.

Why did Jack shave his head?

Marky Mark needs to get over himself.

Everyone looked beautiful and were much too well behaved.

My post above is a mess. I’m going to clean it up. Can’t stand it looking that way.

Um. That’s about it. It wasn’t much of show to live blog, but I sure do appreciate all of you who showed up! And the ones who didn’t will have a mark on their permanent record. Don’t think I didn’t notice! I did! I. Totally. Did.
Just kidding. I would win an Oscar for biggest whiner in a live blogging presentation, don’t you think?

Well, that’s it, folks.

That’s a wrap.

I found a place to park right in front of the hotel. Unbelievable luck. Checked my lipstick one last time in the rearview mirror, grabbed my things and went inside the lobby and walked up to the front desk.

“Oh, your blue girl? He told me you were coming. He can’t wait to see you. Room 414. Elevator’s right over there.”

I was a nervous wreck! I didn’t know what to expect. I strolled to the elevator and stepped in just before the doors were about to close. I pushed the button for the fourth floor, and smiled nervously at the little old man standing in the corner who was getting off at three.

When I stepped out onto the fourth floor, it was so quiet. Almost too quiet. I walked down the hall looking for Room 414. There it was, halfway down on the right. I stopped, composed myself, took a deep breath and knocked on the door.

He opened the door slowly.

There he was.

He was all I ever imagined him to be.

“Come in.”

“Okay.”

“Did you find the hotel okay?”

“Yes, and I got a great parking spot, too.”

“That’s tremendous. Let’s go sit over here.”

I followed him across the room and we sat on the edge of the bed.” It was extremely quiet, except for the muffled sounds of people talking coming from the next room.

He leaned in and said, looking at me with those pretty eyes…

“Show me what you got.”

“You want to do it right now?”

“Sure.”

“Here?”

“Of course, where else would we do it?”

So, I slowly unzipped my…

…briefcase and pulled out my layout!

“Wow! This looks great!”

“Thanks!”

“Okay, let me really look at it.”

I sat there silently, hoping he wouldn’t rip it to shreds. He being Denzel Washington. The Skimmer and I had been hired to create and produce graphic props for the movie Antwone Fisher for the portion of the movie that was being shot in Cleveland.

It was a total rush job. We got all the information on a Tuesday and I had to meet with him on Thursday. When I say above that I was a nervous wreck, that was an understatement. I had never worked on anything like this before and I didn’t want to end up being a blooper! A big old typo no one would catch until it was up on the big screen. I was extremely stressed. What I was showing him had to be complete the following morning at 10am so that it could be included in a scene they were going to shoot at noon. It was an extremely tight schedule and I had my fingers crossed that he wasn’t going to make any changes. It was nearly impossible to get it done if he said it was perfect, let alone if he made any changes at all.

Denzel jumped up off the edge of the bed, looking at my layout. He started be-bopping around the room. I stared at him. He’s better looking in person. Gorgeous smile, beautiful eyes. Nice build. Looked good in his clothes.

“Okay, I really like this, but let’s just change a few things.”

My heart sank. “Okay.”

“Let’s put this front page in the back and the back page in the middle. Let’s take all all the photos you have at the top and put them at the bottom, and the bottom ones at the top. You have it blue, which is great, but let’s make it red. You have twelve pages. Hmmm. Why don’t we add eight more? He smacked the layout against his forehead. “Yeah, that’d be good! 20 pages would work…”

I was in shock. It wasn’t that he was being mean. It was that he was making changes that didn’t matter one iota! They were all subjective. No one would ever know any different one way or another. But, he’s Denzel Washington and I, um, am not. So, I sat there nodding my head up and down.

“…yep. I think we need 20 pages. Is that okay? Can we add eight more? Oooooh! I like this model you used here! Great. She looks great. Here you go. Should we go over it again?”

“No. I’ve got it. That’s great. No problem. But, I’ve got to get going so that I can get the changes done.” I couldn’t say anything to him about the tight deadline. I couldn’t argue subjectiveness with Denzel Washington. I was now more stressed than ever.

He walked me to the door.

“It was nice meeting you! Oh, blue girl. Wait. They’re wrapping this scene up. I want you to meet someone.” The real Antwone Fisher came in the room and I introduced myself and we shook hands. He was a nice guy. The muffled voices that I had heard when I first arrived were a couple of actors in the next room. They were shooting a scene. They took me in the room. I watched them do a re-take and then excused myself, because I had major changes to make!

The Skimmer and I worked on several props for the movie in addition to the catalog-like prop I wrote about above. If you ever watch the movie, be on the lookout for the most awesome social worker forms you have ever seen in your life. And watch for phone books. Yes, we created fake phone books! You will never, ever see a bunch of better designed, great looking phone books.

But, the one I’m especially proud of is the catalog-like prop that Denzel had me change at the very last minute. And not because his changes made it better, but because of the way it was used in the movie. Two little boys, one being Antwone Fisher, are lying on the floor looking at it, flipping through it. They were both foster children. Very unhappy, mistreated foster children. As they flipped through it, they would point to each of the models and say, “That’s my mama, no, that’s my mama. That’s my mama, no, that’s my mama” It was a profound, heartbreaking scene and I was proud to have been a part of it.

So, that’s my brush with an Academy Award winner. Denzel (we’re on a first name basis now) won the Best Supporting Actor Oscar for his performance in the movie Glory. Antwone Fisher was not nominated for an Oscar, which is surprising. Not just because of the jaw dropping awesomeness of the props, but because it’s a really good movie. Derek Luke, who played Antwone Fisher, was especially good in it. If you haven’t seen it, make it a point to. It’s heavy, but it’s good.

Okay, kids! Show starts in 30 minutes! Ellen will be hosting the show they’re holding out in La-La Land and I will be hosting the Real Show, right here in Blogland. I really like Ellen. Not that I’ve ever met her. Anywhere. Including a hotel room. Not that there would be anything wrong with that if I did.

Cuz we’re going to do our best to bring SexyBack tonight. Just a little nod to the boy who I think is going to be Mr. Grammy tonight. Justin Timberlake.

I have a confession. I really like that song “SexyBack.”

Yeah!

My son and The Skimmer — they’re both appalled. Oh well. I like it. But, if someone could please explain why Justin Timberlake could be considered sexy at all, I’d really like to know.

Alright, it’s almost showtime, people. Are you excited? I know I am.

Here’s another thing. I really don’t know all the new fangled little kiddies that are gonna be up on stage with their boobs hanging out and whatnot. So, if you want to tell me who they are in the comments, that would be great.

The Police are kickin’ it off with Roxanne. Shoot. That the *one* I didn’t want them to do. I never liked that one. They sound good. It would be fun to be there. It’s fun to be here though. Right?

I’m not sure about that vest Sting’s got on.

The Skimmer kind of looks like Sting. In case anyone cares to know. I’d never let The Skimmer wear a vest like that though.

Roxxxxaaaane! Put on the red light.

They sound really good.

Standing-0 for The Police!
8:03: Jamie Foxx. C’mon Now! Keep it goin’. I saw you gettin’ down. C’mon make some noise — let’s have a party here tonight.

Did Jamie Foxx just diss Ohio? Why-o-why-o-why-o? Why does every show that’s live blogged have to diss Ohio?

FIRST AWARD: Best Pop Collaboration

Winner: Tony Bennett and Stevie Wonder for For Once In My Life

Well, how could that possibly have missed? Great duo.

Really nice acceptance speech till Target was mentioned. Target? How lame was that, Mr. Bennett? Geez.

Joan Baez! Yay! Introducing The Dixie Chicks. You go, girls.

They sound really good, too. I like Natalie’s hair like that. It looks good dark. But, that’s just a shallow comment that I should even make. Cuz these women, to me are just great. Just great!

Saying I better shut up and sing!

Yeah, right.

That Chevy spot doesn’t work. I know what they were trying to do, but it’s too long or something.

8:16: Thoughts on the show so far. I agree with Tony down in the comments. The Police only did ONE number? What? What was the point, then? So far the show’s pretty good, I think. Except for Tony Bennett mentioning TARGET, his best sponsor EVER. God, give me a break with that.

And can I also just say that I am *heartbroken* that my video didn’t post up top? Heartbroken.

NEW GRAMMY CATEGORY: MOST HEARTBROKEN GRAMMY LIVE BLOGGER

WINNER: Blue Girl In A Red State

Ok. That’s all I’m gonna say about that. I’m a big girl and big girls don’t cry.

Sniffle.

8:18: Prince introduced Beonce (The Skimmer’s favorite — dirty old man.)

She can sing. And she’s gorgeous. I think she has it all.

I hate her.

Kidding!

…I bet if she tried to post a video in her blog post it would work…

8:22: The Black Eyed Peas should be shot for “My Humps” — that’s all I’m sayin’.

For now.

BEST R&B ALBUM — Is Jamie Foxx a singer or an actor? I know he does both, but I don’t see him as doing both. I see him as an actor and a wannbee singer. Is that so wrong?

WINNER: Mary J. Blige

I like her. I’ve read her “story.” She had a tough life growing up and Puff Daddy or Pee Diddy or whatever his name is now “discovered” her. She’s talented and I’m glad someone cared.

8:26: Queen Latifa — she’s a cool chick, too. Justin Timberlake! Told you! Look at him! Is he cute? Is he? Is he sexy? Am I missing something there?

It’s a commercial break so it would be a good time to say this. I also made my own commercial! And of course, that probably won’t post either.

Why does technology hate me?

There are a lot of commercials. Not that that’s surprising at all. Mine’s better than any of these.

Geez. Lots of spots. Ok, we’re back.

8:33: There he is! Sexy Justin. He didn’t have to think about what he was doing. Good for him. Should I be giving him more credit? I think he’s “lucky” — not Mr. Talent. Ok, here he goes. It’s his “special” song. Let’s all be the judge of that.

See. I’ve got a problem with someone like him. It’s not that I wish him any ill will. I don’t. I hope he lives and long and healthy life. But, why does he get this life? Am I being too harsh? What is he? He’s just a kid who can kind of sing. And, um, aren’t there about 100 million others just like him?

I don’t get it.

And how did he get Cameron Diaz?

That’s what I’d like to know.

I would never buy that song.

Oh my God! What is he doing with that camera? It’s hard enough to look at him from afar, let alone up close and distorted! Whose bright idea was that?

Egads. Egads to the nth degree.

8:38: LIFE TIME ACHIEVEMENT HONOREES

I’ve always liked The Doors. I seem to be in the minority there. Or people just won’t admit it for some reason.

BEST FEMALE R&B VOCAL: WINNER, Mary J. Blige

Why does she have to have those tatoos like that? I don’t get that. I liked her speech.

Success shows who you really are. And she’€™s gonna build bridges, not burn them down.

8:41: Commercial break!

8:48: Stevie introduces Corinne Bailey Rae

Sounds nice. Stevie’€™s sticking up for the kiddies. That’€™s good. We can get too jaded, I guess.

I like her.

8:50: I don’€™t know who this is? Who is it? Is this the same song Corinne Bailey Rae was just singing? Is it? I’€™m confused. Sounds the same. Oh there she is in the shadows. Hopefully they’€™ll sing together. Yep. There they do. Pretty.

8:54: John Maer? Is that how you spell his name?

Gravity is working against me now

And gravity oh, it wants to bring me down

Sounds good.

Someone else would be a better judge of guitar playing than me. Was he good? I thought it sounded pretty tight.

8:58: BEST POP VOCAL ALBUM:

I hope James Blunt wins cuz I know Tbogg’s really pulling for him.
WINNER: Continum, John Mayer -€” is that how you spell his name?

Sorry, Tbogg. There€’s always next year.

My Grammy Moment Finalists: Are you guys text messaging like crazy out there at home? I know I am! I may not know how to post videos while live blogging, but I know how to text message! Yes, I do!

Not.

9:05: Shayera performing at The Grammys? Why didn’€™t you tell us?

Oh wait. That’€™s not our Shayera. It’€™s Shakira!

Oooh baby! Sexy outfit. Humina-humina!

Oooh!

Goodness!

That‒s quite the sexy little get up. Can she sing? She’€™s got everything else. I mean, does it even matter if she can sing? I’€™m hearing drooling coming from downstairs. Swear. I can hear drooling.

Was that music? Or porn?

9:09: Seal and Burt Bacharach -€” Burt’€™s lookin’€™ old. Aw. Happens to the best of us, I guess.

Nice announcer cut-in. Doh!

9:10: SONG OF THE YEAR -€” I’€™m pulling for The Dixie Chicks

Tbogg’€™s pullin’€™ for James Blunt. (I like that song.)

WINNER: Yay! The Dixie Chicks!! Not Ready To Make Nice.

Wonder if they care? How could they not? I’m glad for them.

Sorry Tbogg. There’s always next year.

Natalie Maines: For the first time in my life, I’m speechless. She’€™s adorable. And the other two could’ve kicked her to the curb, but they stuck by her. Good on them.

BREAKING NEWS! My friend brushabrusha thinks Justin Timberlake’s all sexy!

Pshaw!

9:20: Gnarls Barkley

I like this song. But, why are they dressed like airline pilots?

That’s Crazy!

Who are those pod people standing up in the back with those red suits on?

9:23: BEST RAP ALBUM

What’€™s Kanye gonna say? Goodness. You just never know. (Please excuse me if I’€™m spelling everyone’€™s name wrong. You’€™re just gonna have to deal.)

Ooooh. I hope The Roots win.

WINNER: Who? Who? Who? Who? I didn’€™t catch it. Was it The Roots?

Who is that? Ludicrice?

Special shout out to Bill O’€™Reilly? Was that a joke? Was it? What?

TARGET AND BILL O’€™REILLY.

Ok. Blue Kid just said that was a joke. I’€™m just the lame mom. So sue me.

9:27: Are you guys text messaging? I know I am! Brushabrusha -€” too bad you didn’€™t get in on that contest. You coulda been with Justin!

Sigh.

9:33: Why is Quentin Taratino at The Grammy? Oh, this is the guy that was in Crash.

True music royalty: Mary J. Blige, She’€™s in love -€” let’€™s listen.

I like that song. But, on a shallow note. Is it prudish, or “out of it” to hate those tatoos? How can you have a beautiful dress on like that with a pretty hair style and then have those tatoos on your upper arms? And I don’€™t just dislike them on women. I don’t like when men have them either. I’€™ve just never ‘€œgotten’€ the whole tatoo thing.

9:39: BEST COUNTRY ALBUM -€” Why is Luke Wilson there? Did Jennifer already leave? I know she likes him. Why is he there? What does he have to do with anything?

WINNER: The Dixie Chicks! Yay!

Boy, I’m glad Luke Wilson was there. He just made the moment.

I like them.

9:48: I don’€™t like Reba and I don’€™t even remember why. What did she do? I can’€™t remember.

There’€™s only ONE great Texan to me. Res Publica. Ooops. I mean, two. And midniter.

Ms. Carrie Underwood! Is she good? I have no idea. Let’€™s see. She’€™s alright. Whatever.

I was just reading the comments. So, no one seems to be into The Dixie Chicks, huh? I’€™m surprised.

9:52: Who is this? Rascal Flats? He looks like that actor from the credit card commercials that got a bit part on Studio 60.

Why would anyone re-do Hotel California? Wasn’t it enough the first time?

Reese Witherspoon playing June Carter and saying in Walk The Line was better than Carrie Underwood playing Carrie Underwood.

Just sayin’.

I don’t like this Flats Rascal person singing Life in the Fast Lane. This is a song I crank when it comes on the radio. I’€™m sort of offended by this version.

Wouldn’€™t country music fans be totally offended by this song? Life in the Fast Lane? Pills, sex, etc.?

10:00: BEST NEW ARTIST

WINNER: Carrie Underwood. Don’€™t get it. At all. She’€™s ok. But, so are 100 million other people. This is why I’€™ve always hated The Grammys.

10:08: Samuel L. Jackson and Christine Ricci introduce Smokey Robinson

He looks a little jacked-up or something. A little wired about the eyes. I like him though. I bet he gets tired singing ‘€œThe Tracks of My Tears.’€ Wouldn’t you?

10:11: Lionel Ritchie

I’€™ll probably get creamed for this. But I used to really like him. He sounds good. Off subject. I don’€™t know a lot about his daughter. Just wanted I kind of hear here and there. But, it always surprised me that he made that much money that she’s living the same sort of life as Paris Hilton.

Wait. What is this? What? Scary skeleton-masked people dancing around. Is this ‘€œChris Brown’€? Would I sound really old if I said, this kid’€™s in the same league as Smokey Robinson? If so, I’m out of it. First clue to me. That you have to have all those dancers around you. If you can’€™t just stand there and sing and need all that other stuff, you’re not in Smokey’€™s league.

10:18: Christine Aguilera

I don’€™t own one song by her, but I really think she can sing. Pretty darn good. (Wonder what’€™s being said in the comments? Commercial break! I think I’€™ll check ‘€˜em out.)

10:26: The suit’€™s on. Who is he? Talking about his dedicated music teachers? He’€™s full of it. I don’€™t even know him and I don’€™t trust him. He acts like he likes Ann Lee, but I don’€™t buy it.

Who is this guy? He looks like Ron Silverman’s brother.

Yes, someone please call George W. Bush and Dick Cheney and tell them how important music is. I’€™m sure they’€™ll be thrilled.

10:37: Ok, we’€™re back with David Spade and some half-dressed chicky babe -€” introduces Ludicrice. Now I can see what all the hubub’€™s about.

I’m not qualified to talk about this music. It doesn’t hit me on a gut level (I’d like to hit you on a gut level - name the movie!) Blige looks better like that, though. I like that red jumpsuit she’€™s got on.

Do me a favor, now and close you eyes. And picture us runnin’ away together.

10:43: James Blunt, You’€™re Beautiful -€” I like this song.

Is this the kind of guy that women like, but men don’€™t? Seems to be that way. Or, the men just won’t admit to it.

I saw your face

Cuz I’€™ll never be with you

I bet I’m in the minority here, but I thought that was really pretty.

I just caught a comment down in the thread about ‘big productions.’€ I agree. I think most times the ‘€œbig productions’€ try to cover up the fact that the talent’€™s not really there. Not every single time, but most times. Did Madonna start that?

10:52: Jennifer Hudson in The My Grammy Moment Competition Moment

Oh, the one girl won. And then she ran away. Oh, there she is. With Sexy Justin. He doesn’€™t sound bad, and she doesn’€™t either. Take your chance, girlfriend!

Was that it? Oh, no. They’€™re on that walkway. Don’t like this song.

Are there any good songs anymore?

They all sound like this.

Not my cup of tea.

Very forgettable.

I wish I knew that girl’s name. I hate calling her ‘that girl.’€ She needs to project more. You can’€™t hear her.

I’€™m happy for her. But, whatever.

Target Tony’€™s back.

Why is Quentin Taratino wearing a medal?

RECORD OF THE YEAR: Why is QT talking like that?

Ok, I won’t pull for the Chicks this time.

I’€™ll pull for James Blunt.

Ha!

WINNER: The Dixie Chicks

I’m happy for them. They’€™ve had a rough time and they stuck to it. Takes guts.

Yes, you just won Record of the Year -€” now get the hell off the stage. Now.

I just read a comment by Watson down in the thread. Yes! This show is loooooong. But, is it as long as that new James Bond movie?

11:08: Chris Rock -€” love him.

Red Hot Chili Peppers. Does the one guy have what Iggy had?

Discuss.

I’€™m bummed they don’€™t have their socks on.

11:13: Al Gore and Queen Latifa

I’€™m sure Al Gore’s getting all that applause! How funny! I’d like to see Gore out there jivin’€™ it up with Ludicrice. Bet Gore’€™s got the moves.

Not.

BEST ROCK ALBUM: Red Hot Chili Peppers

See? Those tatoos on that guy look ick, too.

Yes, we do need more rock bands. I agree. ‘Good’€ rock bands.

Oh my God! I’€™ve become a grandmother in the time this show has been on. Years have passed and my son is now 32 and married!

How loooong is this show?

TW? Where do I pick up my check?

Word has it that this show’s wrapping up. Let’€™s see if it’s true.

11:23: ALBUM OF THE YEAR: With Don Henley and Scarlet

Do you have any advice for me?

No.

Was that a joke? That wasn’€™t funny. I think the presenters left a lot to be desired tonight.

I bet the Dixie Chicks win again. It’€™s a sweep for The Chicks.

Or will it be Justin?

Or will it be Mrs. Watson’€™s faves?

Nope. It’€™s The Chicks again.

Aw. The one girl’€™s crying.

Sniffle.

Good. Good. Good. Happy for them.

Well, you crazy kids. It seems as though we’ve rocked around the clock tonight. I think we actually rocked around it several times. What a long show. On a scale of 1 - 10, I’d give it a 5. It started out strong and then lost steam in the middle and never got going again.

Some random thoughts:

Why did The Police only do one song -€” and why was that one song was Roxanne?

There were very strange presenter choices. Luke Wilson, Al Gore, Scarlett Johansen, Quentin Taratino and his medal.

I wish my video plan would have worked. Oh well.

Old music is better than new music. But I’€™m old.

Justin Timberlake is not sexy, but that girl that won that contest sure was.

So was Shirika. Yeesh!

And The Dixie Chicks deserved it. All.

Night, kids! Thanks for sticking it out with me! It was a lot of fun.

UPDATE:

Last night I live blogged The Grammy Awards; It was fun, but it was long.  I had some technical difficulty.  A video I made for the Pre-Show portion of the evening wouldn’t work.  Which really bummed me out. 

But, for some reason — all of a sudden — as if by magic!  It’s working this morning.  Figures.  I want to share it with all of you now .  It’s cool, plus the music’s great.

Thanks to everyone who showed up last night.

Now.  Onto the Pre-Show That Never Was.

By Neddie Jingo!
"In My Room"

Tom Watson
"1919"

Glue Birl & Jeddie Ningo
"Christmas Time Is Here"

Larry Jones, Revision 99
"Mack the Knife"

Bobby Lightfoot and The Orchestra of Sweet Regret
"Station Road"

Brendan Tween, Hell Yeah! Git Yer Northern Aggression Here!
"Doomsday"

I was a really cool baby.  My first words were … Yeah, Yeah, Yeah. 

As in She Loves You, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah…  She Loves You, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah…  I stood in my crib, with my little moptop, bouncing up and down singing Yeah, Yeah, Yeah.  First words!  It’s true.  My mom has it written down in my baby book.  I’ll scan it and post it if you don’t believe me. 

Little did I know when I was a wee little baby blue girl, what my future held.  A whole lifetime of being obsessed with music.  And it’s finally paid off.

I’m going to be live blogging The 49th Annual Grammy Awards this Sunday night here at newcritics.  The new arts and culture blog that is all the rave around the blogosphere.

I have to admit something.  I’ve never liked The Grammy Awards.  I always thought they were cheap and meaningless.  I always looked down my nose at them.  And it’s no wonder!  Let’s look at 1975, for example.  That was the year of … 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover by Paul Simon, Amie by Pure Prairie League, Big Yellow Taxi by Joni Mitchell, Black Friday by Steely Dan, Born to Run by Bruce Springsteen, Can’t Get It Out of My Head by ELO, Cut the Cake by Average White Band, Daisy Jane by America, Fame by David Bowie,  Killer Queen by Queen, How Sweet It Is (to Be Loved by You) by James Taylor, Lonely People by America, Love Is the Drug by Roxy Music, Only Women Bleed by Alice Cooper, Poetry Man by Phoebe Snow. 

I’m sure there was better music than what I’ve listed above.  I just grabbed some great tunes from the Billboard Top 40.  But, to my eleven year old mind back in 1975, I thought most of the songs listed above were pretty good.

But guess what song won the Grammy for Record of the Year in 1975?

You mean to tell me that…

Maybe I hang around here
A little more than I should
We both know I’ve got somewhere else to go
But I got something to tell you
That I never thought I would
And I believe you really ought to know
I love you
I honestly love you

Held a candle to…

Together Wendy we can live with the sadness
I’ll love you with all the madness in my soul
Someday girl I don’t know when
We’re going to get to that place
Where we really want to go
And we’ll walk in the sun
But till then tramps like us

Ah, you know the rest.  The mind reels.

Could have been worse, I guess.

Kind of kidding.  I loved that song.

Carried your books from school
Playing make believe you were married to me
You were fifth grade, I was sixth
When we came to be

Shut up!  I was eleven.

My Eyes Adored You.  Great line.  Sigh.
 
Record of the Year in 1976 was Love Will Keep Us Together by The Captain and Tenille.  Ok, then.

I’m sure my dad would say, "But blue girl, good music used to win!  Moon River by Henri Mancini won in 1962!  I Left My Heart in San Francisco by Tony Bennett in 1963!  Then it all went to pot.  Aquarius in 1970?  Damned hippies!

And not that I have anything against Aquarius at all, (I thought it was great the way they used it at the end of The 40 Year Old Virgin) but my dad would be right.  Moon River and I Left My Heart In San Francisco are just wonderful, timeless songs.

What happened after 1974, the year Killing Me Softly by Roberta Flack won?

Sailing by Christopher Cross in 1981?

Bette Davis Eyes in 1982?

Another Day In Paradise by Phil Collins in 1991?

They might have been catchy little pop songs in their day, but they’re not timeless songs that my son would even think about listening to now.  I wouldn’t even think about listening to them now.  I’ve downloaded several songs off that list above while writing this post.  And I didn’t download those three, I can tell you that.  I didn’t download Aquarius either.

All of this may sound like I’ve got a negative attitude about Sunday night.  And that’s not true at all.  I’m looking forward to it.  If nothing else, getting ready for this gig has gotten me to listen to some new songs.  Songs I never would’ve heard had Tom Watson not asked me to live blog.

Corinne Bailey Rae’s Put Your Records On.  Not bad.  I like it.

Gnarls Barkley’s Crazy.  It’s groovin’ fun.  I’m listening to it now.  I’m movin’.  Swayin’ back and forth.  Do I honestly love it though?  Not sure yet.

Not Ready To Make Nice by The Dixie Chicks.  Love The Dixie Chicks.

Not Ready To Make Nice by The Dixie Chicks.  Love The Dixie Chicks.

I made by bed, and I sleep like a baby,

With no regrets and I don’t mind saying,

It’s a sad sad story

That a mother will teach her daughter

that she ought to hate a perfect stranger.

And how in the world

Can the words that I said

Send somebody so over the edge

That they’d write me a letter

Saying that I better shut up and sing

Or my life will be over

I’m not ready to make nice,

I’m not ready to back down,

I’m still mad as hell

And I don’t have time

To go round and round and round

It’s too late to make it right

I probably wouldn’t if I could

Cause I’m mad as hell

Can’t bring myself to do what it is

You think I should

You tell ‘em, girls.

Be Without You by Mary J. Blige.  It’s good.  I admire Mary J. Blige.  She can sing.

And finally, can’t forget Tbogg’s favorite.  You’re Beautiful by James Blunt.  I liked that song when it came out.  I still kind of do.  I’m sorry.  Wimper, wimper, wimper…

Of course, there are a lot more categories than Record of the Year to be concerned with on Sunday night.  There’s Album of the Year, Best Female Pop Vocal Performance … Best Polka Album.  Just to name a few.  You can review all of the categories here.

So, whether you’ve always despised The Grammys or whether you’ve always loved them, I hope you’ll join me here at newcritics Sunday night starting around 7:30pm.  And comment a lot.

I promise it’s going to be lots of fun.  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I do.

I considered my choice. Angst-ridden or gut-wrenching? Since my husband and I don’t share the same taste in movies, I was going to be watching the movie alone, late at night. I opted for gut-wrenching. Angst could wait till Sunday afternoon.

It turned out to be the right choice.

Joyeux Noel tells the story of the Scottish, French and German soldiers who, during World War One, agree to a truce on Christmas Eve, 1914. After bloody battles that leave No Man’s Land scattered with dead bodies, each side lays down their weapons for an evening and a few days of peace, sharing champagne, chocolates and photos of their wives.

She is very beautiful.

Yes, she is. Do you have a picture of your wife?

Here she is.

Ahhhh, she’s pretty. He holds the photo up to his lips … Smooch, smooch, smooch!

They all laugh and raise their bottles.

On the German side, there is a famous tenor, Nikolaus Spink, who has been called up to be a soldier, and his partner, Anna, has joined him in the trench to sing for his men on Christmas eve. These two have a few beautiful scenes together, although I thought Spink, played by Benno Furmann was a tad melodramatic in his posture. A few times throughout the movie, he brought to mind the cartoon character, American Dad, with the same square jaw line and sense of self importance — a little melodramatic and goofy. Anna, on the other hand, played by Diane Kruger, was wonderful. Beautiful in her strength and support for Spink. In one scene where they are singing a duet, Spink’s voice falters because of the stress he’s been under and Anna sets her gaze upon him, giving him the strength to continue.

On the British side, there are two Scottish brothers who excitedly rushed off for basic training the minute they heard the war was on.

Finally! Our lives will have meaning!

When their priest witnesses their excitement at the beginning of the movie, his facial expression portends the devastation and destruction to follow. He joins them at the front, signing up to be a stretcher-bearer.

The French are led by lieutenant Audebert, whose superior officer is his father and whose wife is stuck behind enemy lines and pregnant with their first child. The lieutenant is more than aware of the futility of his mission and while giving his men marching orders, ends by saying … Just do as I say. I, too, want to be home for Christmas. His men, listening somewhat pensively, had no idea that their lieutenant had thrown up when preparing himself before coming out to speak to them.

On Christmas eve, as all of the soldiers sit in their trenches, just feet from each other, cold, lonely and dreaming of home, the priest begins to play his bagpipes. It’s a weighty, solemn scene as the other Scottish soldiers begin to sing along. When the first song comes to an end, Spink, the famous tenor, responds by singing Silent Night and slowly leaves his trench, risking being killed. Gradually, all the soldiers emerge from their trenches and end up getting to know one another. So much so, that when hostilities resume, they feel the need to protect each other, and do.

While the movie’s primary message is heartwarming and uplifting, making me proud of how human beings can choose to behave towards each other in the worst of times, it also has a dark message. No good deed goes unpunished. When the soldier’s superiors find out about the truce it is not looked highly upon and the soldiers are punished accordingly. That was devastating to me.

One of my very favorite things about watching a gut-wrenching movie late at night, all alone is that quiet time when the movie ends and the credits roll. Especially if the music that’s playing fits the movie perfectly, which the score to Joyeux Noel, composed by Philippe Rambi, most certainly did.

As Thème de l’absence washed over me, I thought about all that senseless killing so many years ago and how it’s still going on today. How, on one side, there were men who put their humanity first and came together to celebrate life. And how, on the other side, their superiors were disgusted by their behavior, accusing them of being traitorous and lowly, even in the eyes of God.

It was a depressing thought, until I remembered which side I’ve always chosen to be on. And I fell asleep listening to that beautiful music, about which one reviewer wrote…

…don’t feel shy encouraging a score that dares to impress, surprise, and touch the coldest of hearts on the coldest of all nights.

The same could be said of Joyeux Noel. Rent it. It will warm your heart. In a gut-wrenching sort of way.

I got up early this morning and everyone else was sleeping. I made coffee and lit a fire, grabbed my favorite afghan and cuddled up on the couch with my newest book. A book that I bought a few days ago. And. A book I’ve already finished.

Aha! I’m already on my way to a successful 2007. Take that all you naysayers!

All right, the book was only 78 pages. And it was lovely and easy to devour. And it was romantic. And tragic. And was written by a writer I really like. It had a lot going for it. But, still! I’ve kept my word to myself so far, so I think I deserve a prize. Actually, I think my prize is that I got to know a little bit more about Alice Trillin, and how much her husband, Calvin, loved her. And how much he misses her. She passed away in 2001.

At Barnes and Noble on Saturday, I was perusing all the newest books when About Alice jumped out at me. I loved the simple cover design and especially the typeface. And I couldn’t resist the photograph on the back cover of the two of them leaving the London registry office where they were married in August of 1965.

There’s a chapter on how pretty she was.

At parties, she often attracted what I called “guys smoking pipes,” who wanted to impress her with their suavity or intellectual range. “He wasn’t smoking a pipe, by the way,” she’d say, knowing just which guy I was talking about when I mentioned “that guy with the pipe” as we discussed a party on the way home…

…”Is that right? I’d say. “I could have sworn he was tamping down the tobacco, or whatever they do, when he made the remark about the flaws in Derrida’s thinking.”

I wasn’t surprised that Alice attracted guys with pipes. They didn’t mean any harm, and I’m hardly in a position to criticize people for trying to impress her.

He wrote about how they met at a party in New York.

She was, as Roger Wilkins later wrote, so very pretty, but that wasn’t the first thing that struck me about her; it might have come as much as two or three seconds later. My first impression was that she looked more alive than anyone I’d ever seen. She seemed to glow…

…after doing some intelligence work and juggling some obligations and dismissing as hearsay the vague impression of one mutual acquaintance that Alice was virtually engaged, I dashed back from a remote suburb to a party that I figured she’d be attending…I did get to talk to her quite a lot. In fact, I must have hardly shut up. I was like a lounge comic who had been informed that a booker for The Tonight Show was in the audience. Recalling that party in later years, Alice would sometimes say, “You have never again been as funny as you were that night.”

“You mean I peaked in December of 1963?” I’d say, twenty or even thirty years later.

“I’m afraid so.”

But I never stopped trying to match that evening — not just trying to entertain her but trying to impress her.

He describes one scene when Alice was volunteering at a camp for disabled children. She had made friends with a little girl who was severely disabled and as they all sat around in a circle playing duck, duck, goose, the little girl handed Alice her mail, asking her to hold it when it was her turn to be chased around the circle. Alice noticed there was a note on top from the little girl’s mom. And she read the note, knowing how awful that was. The note said, “If God had given us all of the children in the world to choose from, L., we would only have chosen you.” Alice’s friend was sitting next to her and she quickly handed him the note and said…

Quick. Read this. It’s the secret of life.

She was a good mom. Calvin Trillin wrote this in The New Yorker.

By now, my wife’s policy on attending school plays (a policy that also covers pageants, talent shows, revues, recitals, and spring assemblies) is pretty well known: she believes that if your child is in a school play and you don’t go to every performance, including the special Thursday matinee for the fourth grade, the county will come and take the child.

In the first book Trillin published after Alice died — a book about parking in New York, which he felt was pretty silly, but Alice had loved it, the dedication read…

I wrote this for Alice. Actually, I wrote everything for Alice.

Sweet.

When I finished the book this morning, I flipped through those empty pages in the back and there was a description of the typeface that had been used. I love when they include that. I don’t know why they sometimes do and sometimes don’t. I think they should include it always

…yet its openness and slight irregularities give it a human, romantic quality. Much like this little, lovely book that I bought, started to read and finished already.