Operator, Can You Help Me Place This Call: Great Telephone Songs


You know that we do take away,
We deliver too.
Open twenty four hours babe,
Just waiting on a call from you…

Keith RichardsThru and Thru is a Keith Richards track David Chase dug out from the obscurity mine of post heyday Rolling Stones albums for his hit HBO series The Sopranos. He let the tune play over the fade to black and credit roll for the season two finale as “Big Pussy” Bonpensiero’s bullet riddled body sinks into the cold abyss off the coast of New Jersey. It was a perfectly sublime audio/visual sequence. I had owned a copy of Voodoo Lounge for a year or so and never heard the song up to that point, but immediately added it to my list of favorite Stones tunes, not for its Sopranos association, nor for Keith and Ronnie’s brutal twin guitar attack, but on account of the song possessing a key element that I find absolutely hard to resist; the lyrical mention of the telephone.

I simply cannot get enough of a song that draws on or otherwise alludes to the use of the telephone.

Some would say it’s because I’ve worked in the telephone business for more than fifteen years, but that’s not it at all. The telephone and the act of talking on it, answering it, not answering it, waiting for a call on it, etc… just does it for me. Run down your own list of telephone songs and I think you’ll get what I mean. It’s such a lonely thing isn’t it? There’s such a sense of desperation and vulnerability in someone waiting on a telephone call. You’re totally at the mercy of the person on the dialing end. Will they remember to call? Are you a priority enough in their life for them to take the time to call you? Even more concerning, do they really even WANT to call you?

Speedball rang the night clerk, said “send me up a drink”
The night clerk said, “Its Sunday man, wait a minute let me think…
There’s a little place outside of town that might still have some wine.”
Speedball said,”Forget it man, can I have an outside line?”

- Tom Petty Something Big

The telephone provides the perfect veil for deception and all things sinister too. Even if she calls you, is she telling you the truth? Is she rolling her eyes as you prattle on? Even still, will she even TAKE your call, or just ignore it? Is the mere act of taking your call something she is loathe to do? Pink has to listen to his wife’s lover answer the phone as he attempt’s to connect a collect call to her from across an ocean. A sympathetic operator’s voice is heard asking him, “I’m sorry sir, but they keep hanging up, would you like me to try again?”

The phone provides a shameless and most cowardly vehicle for lovers to end relationships. In films, talking on the phone is usually done in uncomfortable and oppressive environments. Has anybody ever had a relaxing or otherwise pleasant conversation in a phone booth? “I gave her my heart and she gave me a pen…” Lloyd tells his sister while standing in a phone booth in the pouring Seattle rain. How many times have we seen people draw their last breath in a phone booth, a body slouching against the inside of the grotty glass enclosure as the receiver dangles. A voice crackles, “Hello? Is there anybody there?”

Told me you loved me, why did you leave me all alone?
Now you tell me you need me when you call me on the phone…

- J. Timberlake Cry Me A River

While it’s true that in most songs and films, they are more likely to be used as the source of delivering bad news, we’re so desperate for the phone to be some sort of a Star Trek like transporter, but it will never meet that expectation and therefore the telephone always disappoints. It will never replace actually being somewhere with someone no matter what technological improvements are made. The commercial with the business guy at the airport is a good case study. He’s had a tough day, his flight has just been delayed, and it’s late. So what does he do? He takes out his phone and calls his kid. Her ghostly image is then sitting next to her dad in the gate area and he says, “How was your day darling?”

But, even in this scene, the telephone is a disappointing substitute for being there. The sad reality is a phone call must always end and once it does you are again alone. While they don’t show it, you know he must hang up at some point and the smile that was once on his face will disappear. We feel terrible for him, I know I do.

It seems like such a gloomy way to think about the telephone, but maybe that’s why guys by and large hate talking on them. Maybe, all things considered, when it comes to making or taking a telephone call, the odds are that nothing good will come of it, yet men make up a much higher percentage of cell phone ownership. We own phones we dread talking on. I’m not sure what that says about us, but I wonder if once the glomming period of his new discovery had passed, perhaps in the early morning hours of a sleepless night, if Alexander Graham Bell wasn’t somehow deeply disappointed in his new invention.

Someone’s on the telephone desperate in his pain
Someone’s on the bathroom floor doing her cocaine
Someone’s got their finger on the button in some room
No one can convince me we aren’t gluttons for our doom

- Indigo Girls Prince of Darkness

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February 2nd, 2007
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Viewing 29 Comments

    • ^
    • v
    Can i just add a few lines of yearing from Blondie:

    It's good to hear your voice, you know it's been so long
    If I don't get your call then everything goes wrong
    I want to tell you something you've known all along
    Don't leave me hanging on the telephone
    Nice post Tony
    • ^
    • v
    Tony, here's a classic from the 70s punk band the Heartbreakers (Johnny Thunders' post-Dolls band):

    10 years old
    Anything goes
    All you ever knew was a bullshit phone
    Now you're on the bells
    Yacking in the booths
    But where you supposed to go?
    Well I just don't know so,

    Get off the phone
    There's nobody home
    So get off the phone
    Cause I don't want you
    Cause I don't want you

    What's that ringing sound?
    Everything's going round and round
    Calling everybody and their mother too
    But don't call me cause I just left you so,

    Get off the phone
    There's nobody home
    So get off the phone
    Cause I don't want you
    Cause I don't want you

    You hung up on love when I called that night
    You hung up on bells at the ring side fights
    You hung up on your heart
    You hung up on the world
    Now you hung yourself on the telephone pole so,

    Get off the phone
    There's nobody home
    So get off the phone
    Cause I don't want you
    Cause I don't want you

    I don't care
    what you wear
    You ain't gonna go
    no where

    Get off the phone
    There's nobody home
    So get off the phone
    Cause I don't want you
    Cause I don't want you

    (Written by Walter Lure & Jerry Nolan)
    • ^
    • v
    I for one am notoriously famous amongst my friends for being terrible on the phone. I detest them. Email is the single greatest invention of my lifetime. But here is the first phone song to come to mind:

    Telephone Operator
    by the great Pete Shelley

    Telephone Operator
    Why can't I see you later
    Telephone Operator
    Why can't I see you later
    Tell me is it wine
    That makes things so fine
    Or is it 'cos you're mine
    Telephone Operator
    You're my aural stimulator
    Telephone Operator
    Ne c'est pas la raison d'etre
    Tell me is it love
    That I feel because
    You're all I'm thinking of
    Telephone Operator
    Phone you up an hour later
    Telephone Operator
    Phoned you up an hour later
    Tell me is it love
    That I'm in because
    I'm only thinking of you
    Telephone Operator
    • ^
    • v
    Type your comment here.
    That is a pretty dim view of what can be a lifeline, literally, for some. What fascinates me is that when someone you know/love utters just the tiniest word on the phone--barely finishes the word "hello"--you know who it is, instantly. I love that.

    Joni Mitchell:
    I deal in dreamers, and telephone screamers--Free Man in Paris

    Tethered to a rining telephone, in a room full of mirrors--Down to You
    • ^
    • v
    What a great post. "Operator" came on the radio the other day as I was driving around. That song is so pretty and sad. So melancholy.

    So I can call just to tell 'em I'm fine and to show
    I've overcome the blow, I've learned to take it well --
    I only wish my words could just convince myself
    That it just wasn't real, but that's not the way it feels.

    Most times I dread talking on the phone. I cringe when it rings off the hook at night. But, there are a few people that I don't see often enough. And there's nothing better than listening to them talk. And laugh.

    Aw. I'm sad now.

    Counting Crows: Raining in Baltimore
    This circus is falling down on its knees
    The big top is crumbling down
    Its raining in baltimore fifty miles east
    Where you should be, no ones around
    I need a phone call
    I need a raincoat
    I need a big love
    I need a phone call
    • ^
    • v
    Helllll-oooh, bay-bee!
    Chantilly Lace count?
    • ^
    • v
    Gotta call my baby on the telephone
    Let her know that her daddy's comin' on home ...

    Open All Night
    from Springsteen's Nebraska
    • ^
    • v
    Call Me. Not lyrically brilliant, but maybe my favorite Blondie. Call Mr. Lee, from Television--catches Verlaine at his playful and cryptic best. And these quotes from one of my bespectacled teenage idols: "I'm not a telephone junkie, I told you that when we were just good friends." and "Sometimes I phone you when I know you're not lonely, but I always disconnect it in time."
    Oh, and one more...REM The Sidewinder Sleeps Tonite: "Tell her,
    Tell her she can kiss my ass, then laugh and say that you were only kidding.
    That way shell know that its really, really, really, really me.
    Call me when you try to wake her up. call me when you try to wake her."
    • ^
    • v
    And more Stones, a classic bit:

    Ive been waiting in the hall
    Been waiting on your call
    When the phone rings
    Its just some friends of mine that say,
    Hey, whats the matter man?
    Were gonna come around at twelve
    With some puerto rican girls that are just dyin to meet you.
    Were gonna bring a case of wine
    Hey, lets go mess and fool around
    You know, like we used to
    • ^
    • v
    some girls tom - very nice

    i am not much for telephone related lyrics but whenever cards, card playing, and card games are mentioned, my ears pick up

    fred
    • ^
    • v
    The obvious - ELO "Telephone line"
    The not-so-obvious - Sugarloaf - "Don't call us, we'll call you"

    The ridiculous: Meri Wilson "Telephone Man"
    "Hey, baby, I'm your telephone man
    You just show me where you want it and I'll put it where I can
    I can put it in the bedroom, I can put it in the hall
    I can put it in the bathroom, I can hang it on the wall
    You can have it with a buzz, you can have it with a ring
    And if you really want it you can have a ding-a-ling
    Because-a hey baby, I'm your telephone man"
    • ^
    • v
    Operator - the Grateful dead

    Operator, can you help me
    Help me if you please
    Give me the right area code
    And the number that I need
    My rider left upon the midnight flyer
    Singin' like a summer breeze

    I think she's somewhere down south
    Down about Baton Rouge
    But I just-a can't remember no number
    A number I can use
    Direct'ry don't have it, central done forgot it
    Got to find a number to use

    Try'n' to check out her number
    Try'n' to run down her line
    Operator said that's priv'leged information
    And it ain't no business of mine
    It's floodin' down in Texas, poles are out in Utah
    Got to find a private line

    She could be hangin' 'round a steel mill
    Workin' in a house of blue lights
    Ridin' a getaway bus out of Portland
    Talkin' to the night
    I don't know where she's goin', I don't care where she's been
    Long as she's been doin' it right
    Long as she's been doin' it right
    • ^
    • v
    Blue Girl, Couldn't agree more about that Croce tune. a VERY under rated song writer.

    A couple of the tunes you guys have mentioned highlight another alluring aspect of the telephone and that's anonymity. I wanted to toss something about it into the post, but my scatter brain got drawn in another direction. But the telephone allows for all kinds of confessional type scenarios to anonymous people, most frequently operators.

    Wow, it just dawned on me that this generation of song writers will not have the preverbal “operator” to rely on when crafting lyrics since so few operators actually exist these days.
    • ^
    • v
    Yeah, not to mention the cell phone - somehow, less romantically alluring. Or the text message ballad....
    • ^
    • v
    roxtar, I curse you for putting "Telephone Line" in my head! I've been singing it all day...

    O.k. so no--ones answering!
    Well can't you just let it ring a little longer, longer, longer
    Ill just sit tight, through the shadows of the night
    Let it ring for. evah. moooooooore.

    :)

    So, I'm gonna lob one back your way...

    I'm not in love
    So don't forget it
    It's just a silly phase I'm going through
    And just because
    I call you up
    Don't get me wrong, don't think you've got it made
    I'm not in love, no no, it's because..

    I like to see you
    But then again
    That doesn't mean you mean that much to me
    So if I call you
    Don't make a fuss
    Don't tell your friends about the two of us
    I'm not in love, no no, it's because..

    I keep your picture
    Upon the wall
    It hides a nasty stain that's lying there
    So don't you ask me
    To give it back
    I know you know it doesn't mean that much to me
    I'm not in love, no no, it's because..

    Ooh you'll wait a long time for me
    Ooh you'll wait a long time

    I'm not in love
    So don't forget it
    It's just a silly phase I'm going through

    And just because I call you up
    Don't get me wrong, don't think you've got it made

    I'm not in love
    I'm not in love

    And let's not forget...

    big boys don't cwy
    big boys don't cwy

    :)

    What a corny little song. But, I *love* it!
    • ^
    • v
    "Telephone is ringin'
    You got me on the run
    I'm driving in my car now
    Anticipatin' fun"

    Both phone and Car! I WIN!

    Alice MF'in Cooper BT f'in W
    • ^
    • v
    Ring me, ring me ring me
    Up the President
    And find out
    Where my baby went
    Ring me, ring me, ring me
    Up the FBI
    And find out if
    My baby's alive
    Yeah, yeah, yeah

    Ramones - look up top at the header art, btw...
    • ^
    • v
    All right, I have to pull out the Steely Dan, since no one else will: "Rikki Don't Lose That Number".
    • ^
    • v
    Chuck Berry! It's embarrassing for me to recall how many years I listened to this thinking it was about a guy trying to get in touch with an ex-girlfirend, instead of a dad trying to talk to his young daughter.

    Long distance information, give me Memphis Tennessee
    Help me find the party trying to get in touch with me
    She could not leave her number, but I know who placed the call
    'Cause my uncle took the message and he wrote it on the wall

    Help me, information, get in touch with my Marie
    She's the only one who'd phone me here from Memphis Tennessee
    Her home is on the south side, high up on a ridge
    Just a half a mile from the Mississippi Bridge

    Help me, information, more than that I cannot add
    Only that I miss her and all the fun we had
    But we were pulled apart because her mom did not agree
    And tore apart our happy home in Memphis Tennessee

    Last time I saw Marie she's waving me good-bye
    With hurry home drops on her cheek that trickled from her eye
    Marie is only six years old, information please
    Try to put me through to her in Memphis Tennessee
    • ^
    • v
    Dylan:

    Well Mack the Finger said to Louie the King
    I got forty red white and blue shoe strings
    And a thousand telephones that don't ring
    Do you know where I can get rid of these things
    And Louie the King said let me think for a minute son
    And he said yes I think it can be easily done
    Just take everything down to Highway 61.
    • ^
    • v
    Tom mentioned cell phones; there are some good cell phone songs out there. "Cell Phones Ringing (In the Pockets of the Dead)" was written by Willie Nile, following the Madrid train bombings of March 2004. This is a very eerie phone song, and it represents our new society, every one has a phone in there pocket.
    • ^
    • v
    I was just waiting for someone to mention "Memphis," my choice for the best phone song of all, partly because it's delivered entirely as one side of a phone conversation (as is "Operator" as well--hard to believe that next month Pigpen will have been dead thirty-four years). But since someone beat me to that one, instead here's part of a Beach Boys song, "Busy Doin' Nothin'." In keeping with its title, these lines are about a phone conversation that in fact does not take place.
    - - - -
    And lately I've been thinking 'bout a good friend
    I'd like to see more of, yea yea yeah
    I think I'll make a call

    I wrote a number down
    But I lost it
    So I searched through my pocket book
    I couldn't find it
    So I sat and concentrated
    On the number
    And slowly it came to me
    So I dialed it

    And I let it ring a few times
    There was no answer
    So I let it ring a little more
    Still no answer
    So I hung up the telephone
    Got some paper and
    Sharpened up a pencil and
    Wrote a letter to my friend.
    - - - -
    When heard with the music, the fact that a certain amount of effort produces no tangible (or even intangible) results is somehow the point. Aah--you'd have to hear it.
    • ^
    • v
    I'm late to the thread and you hit all my favorites except:

    'Hello, It's Me' from Todd Rundgren. I get nostalgic for my laughably simple high schoool blues just hearing that opening line.

    By the way, I believe 'Operator' was the first 45 I ever bought with my own money. I still have it.
    • ^
    • v
    What? No Switchboard Susan?

    First time I picked upthe telephone

    I fell in love with your ringing tone

    I'm a long distance romancer

    I keep on trying till I get an answer ...

    The Siren has loved Nick Lowe for lo these many years.
    • ^
    • v
    Everyone loves Answering Machine from the Replacements


    Big town's got its losers
    Small town's got its vices
    A handful of friends
    One needs a match, one needs some ice
    Call-waiting phone in another time zone
    How do you say I miss you to
    An answering machine?
    How do you say good night to
    An answering machine?
    • ^
    • v
    There's a really beautiful instrumental by Penguin Cafe Orchestra that's assembled from the sounds you hear on the phone: that plaintive, unanswered ringing tone and so on. It's called Telephone & Rubber Band. Then there's 634-5789 by about a dozen different artists: Eddie Floyd, Sam & Dave, Ry Cooder...
    • ^
    • v
    ELO "Telephone Line"

    Hello-how are you
    Have you been all right through all these lonely nights
    That's what I'd say, I'd tell you everything
    If you'd pick up that telephone
    Hey-how you feelin'
    Are you still the same
    Don't you realize the things we did were all for real, not a dream
    I just can't believe
    They've all faded out of view
    I look into the sky
    And I wonder why
    CHORUS
    Telephone line, give me some time, I'm living in twilight
    Telephone line, give me some time, I'm living in twilight
    Okay, so no one's answering
    Well, can't you just let it ring a little longer
    I'll just sit tight, through shadows of the night
    Let it ring for evermore
    CHORUS
    • ^
    • v
    awesome, you really had a wide imagination making up this post..
    • ^
    • v
    Great song.
 

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